07 January 2012
At my last doctors appointment I left with a hand full of appointment cards scheduling me out to the end of my pregnancy. It hit me harder than ever that this baby is coming sometime in the next seven or so weeks, ready or not. Emotionally and mentally I am ready, I haven't really worried about anything during my pregnancy other than the health of my baby. I think about the hours of labor, pain and the recovery often but I don't sweat over it; I do not see the point. I believe if I was not capable of this step in life I wouldn't be put in the position to take it.
I do stress over some things, but they are usually the little things like...did I make enough cookies for the party, are they cute enough, is the nursery going being 100% done before this babe decides to come, are the Christmas ornaments equally spread on the tree or is my hair as close to perfect as possible (ask my husband, these things happen...daily). Big lifetime events don't really phase me though.
My Grandpa Tavey has always had a saying "it's just another day..." if you tell him happy birthday he will say "oh, it's just another day..." on his 50th Wedding Anniversary all he had to say was "it's just another day..." On my sixteenth birthday my Grandma was having knee surgery so my Grandpa brought over my birthday card, all it said was "Aryon, it's just another day..." Well for whatever reason I have been blessed with the same outlook on life. The day we got engaged, I knew it was coming, I was excited but I wasn't nervous or scared or anxious. I knew that anyway Jeremy asked me it would be perfect in our own little way. And to me it really was "just another day..." in my life. (Sorry love, just speakin' the truth). The day we got married the same thing. My dad woke up while I was doing my hair and asked why I wasn't freaking out. I didn't really have an answer because as horrible as it may sound "it was just another day," a day I looked forward to for as long as I can remember and one I would always treasure and remember and love but still it truly was "just another day". I knew that my mom had planned everything to perfection and the little hick-ups in her plans probably wouldn't phase me no matter how much she or my sisters flipped out over them, because when all is said and done there is nothing I could do about it.
I don't really see the point in stressing over the big things, I'm more of a go with the flow type of person, at least I like to think so. So am I nervous or worried or anxious about delivering this kid? Heck no! I am ready! I have looked forward to the day I will be a mom my entire life, it is a day I will always remember and cherish but in reality (again as horrible as it sounds) it is "just another day..." in this journey we call life.
Today when we went to visit the birthing center everyone was full of questions and I just stood there and listened. I loved everything we saw and heard and I am really excited to deliver there, but lets be honest I know I can't control and micromanage every itty-bitty thing that happens that day, so why stress over it. I know that they will do everything possible to meet my wishes and follow my birth plan but things happen. I came to this realization years ago and I am fine with it, because, it's going to be "just another day..." I guess what I am trying to say is, I'm glad I don't stress over the big things...I'd rather fret about cookies and hair and just enjoy the big things.